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3 Quick Tips to Start Practicing Self-Love Now!

3 Quick Tips to Start Practicing Self-Love Now!

Self-love is about being more committed to your happiness than to your suffering in every single moment.”- Nitika Chopra

 

 

We all know that love is the main topic of discussion in February. Everywhere we turn we see hearts, candy, and cards reminding us to honor our loved ones with a token of appreciation, which is a lovely sentiment.  While you’re contemplating the perfect way to tell someone else how much you care,  don’t forget to tune into your own heart. Here are a few ways you can carve out moments of love for yourself:

Wake with a grateful heart.

 

Before your feet even touch the floor, take a moment to acknowledge what you are grateful for such as your health, your bed, etc.

Start your morning with an affirmation.

 

When sipping your coffee or washing your face try saying to yourself something like, “I am loved,” or ” Today I am capable of so much.”

Nourish your mind + body.

 

At lunchtime, fill up your water bottle and put on your favorite calming playlist or podcast. Take this moment to recharge and center yourself.

 

Looking for more opportunities to practice self-love?

 

Check out our podcast, Second Sip, which is a continuation of our wise-women conversations at MBA.

You may also enjoy our Girls Night In events.      

 

 

Gifting for the Love Languages

Gifting for the Love Languages

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, we all have a “love tank” inside of us. When the love tank is full, we feel connected, supported, and secure. When the love tank is empty, we feel disconnected, alone, and insecure. But how do you fill someone else’s love tank? You learn what their love language is and you use it to communicate how much they mean to you. It’s equally important that you understand your own love language. This way, you will know how to communicate to your loved ones what it is that you need to feel appreciated and secure.  

But what if their language is different from yours? Or perhaps you don’t exactly know what to do with the information? These concerns can create unnecessary stress when it comes time to acknowledge them with a gift or expression of love. No one needs MORE stress in their life. That’s why we’ve used the 5 Love Languages to curate a gift guide that is intentional and reflects each of the languages uniquely. 

 

Words of Affirmation

 

People with this as their top love language need words to help them feel loved. Choose gifts that make statements and show that you recognize an important aspect of them. 

Gift Ideas: 

ThoughtFull Pop-Open Cards- Each of these themed boxes come with 30 unique quotes. Stash them throughout their belongings to create a fun and unexpected surprise. Popping open the card is super satisfying and their small size makes them perfect to carry in your pocket or bag. 

Write Now Journals- These journals have beautiful and inspirational quotes on the cover and throughout the pages. A lover of words will surely appreciate the ability to keep their own words close by while being inspired by iconic quotes and poems. 

 

Physical Touch

 

The Touch love language is about the physical sensation that comes from a meaningful connection. Pick textural gifts that evoke a strong touch memory of you. 

Gift Ideas: 

Shawls/ Wraps/Blankets/Pillows- The key here is to find items that have a distinct texture and relate to something they already love. If they love to read in their favorite chair, perhaps a cozy shawl or wrap would be nice. If they love to Netflix and relax – a breathable blanket with some weight can help them unwind, if they’ve recently experienced a significant transition in their life, a weighted heart pillow can provide comfort in times of need. 

Sacred Heart Stones – These little trinkets are perfect for a pocket and can easily be retrieved and rubbed with their thumb when they miss you or need to feel comforted. 

 

Quality Time

 

QT people need you to make time for them. Gift them items that come with a follow-up event or date. 

Gift Ideas:

Yoga/meditation supplies + classes: a new yoga mat or bag, perhaps an eye pillow. Commit to attending a class with them by purchasing a class pass in advance. 

Books + discussion- Books are great for self-care but you can show your loved ones that you care by reading the same book and making time for discussion. Think about books that reflect their interests or will strengthen your relationship: The Mindful Couple, Awakened Relating, or The Untethered Soul. 

 

Acts of Service

 

Acts of Service speakers feel loved when you do something nice for them that makes their life easier or better. Think about gifts that will enhance their goals or free up their schedule so that they can pursue the things they really enjoy. 

Gift ideas: 

Wellness Kits:  Has your loved one been sick? Are they hoping to get healthy in the new year? Gift them a hand-curated wellness kit, complete with bath bombs, handmade soaps, reusable water bottles, wellness patches, etc. 

Prompted Journaling- Journaling is incredibly rewarding but busy people may find it to be a chore. Help them reap the benefits of journaling by gifting them a prompted journal such as Calm the Chaos,   I am here now, or 52 Weeks of Gratitude.

 

Receiving Gifts

 

This language may seem like the easiest one but in fact, can be the most stressful. Gifters are usually excellent at gifting meaningful items to their loved ones so you may feel pressure to make the same kind of effort. The key here is to take note of what brings them joy. Big or small, a meaningful gift will go a long way with this love language. 

Gift Ideas:

Unique Finds: trendsetters love a unique find. Think jewelry with a story such as a Mala prayer necklace or a stone bracelet charged in a Sedona energy vortex. 

Conscious Living- Think about items that do good in the world: reusable paper towels, glass water bottles, or fair-trade items such as bags and rugs. 

Holistic and Mindful Living: gift items that will help them with their practice such as a singing bowl, meditation chime, or a crystal grid.

 

 

Take the FREE Love Language Quiz here

All of the above-mentioned gift ideas can be found at the Butterfly House retail shop. Visit us on Tu-Friday from 10 am – 5 pm or email mary@mindbodyalign.com to have a custom gift package put together for you. 

 

Upcoming Event

Girls Night In: 

The Power of Self-Compassion

February 28th  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Journey to New Perspectives: An Exploration of the Heart

Journey to New Perspectives: An Exploration of the Heart

Have you ever considered your “quality of life” from a whole-self perspective or considered the elements which create a happy and purposeful life? Possibly you have been gauging your personal success or failure against markers established by family, friends, or social networks. How do we know if our goals and resolutions are coming from our hearts, leading us to fulfillment, growth, and purpose, or if they are coming from habits or beliefs that no longer serve us?  What I intend to create with this conversation is the opportunity to explore our hearts for the truth. Let’s take time to take a journey to a new perspective. 

What would you see if you could remove from your awareness the habits, beliefs and unrequited dreams that keep you stuck? I mean really, who would you be and what would you know about yourself? Perhaps there is a way to actively move forward in creating your best life by subtly shifting your focus.

Let’s begin:  take an honest look at where you are now.

 

I have attached a Wheel of Wellbeing.  Where are you right now? Mark on this wheel from 0 to 10, 0 being no satisfaction and 10 being great satisfaction, in each category.  Please note, that there is no judgment that 0 is bad and 10 is good, it is simply an acknowledgment of what is happening in your life at this moment.  It’s important to note that each season of our life requires sacrifice. My hope is that you will approach this exercise with self-compassion. And, please read Mary’s recent blog for an amazing perspective and understanding of the seasons and sacrifices of life.

 

Next: create attainable goals using things that bring us joy.

 

Start with colored pens, (4 sheets) paper or chalkboard and colored chalks (I use lots of colors to make it visually fun). Sit quietly in contemplation or listen to your favorite “feel good” music. Write everything you love about yourself. “I love my nose, toes, ability to relate to people, health, strong voice, etc.” Remember to focus on things you love about yourself; listing things related to your mind, body, and spirit.

On another sheet of paper or a different section of the chalkboard, note everything that you love about your life. “I love my spouse, children, time that I have to read, time and money that I have to travel, that people trust me, etc.” The key to being authentic in this list is that you feel love as you recall these people and life experiences.

On the third sheet of paper or area of the chalkboard, select one person you love – again, allow yourself to feel love as you recall this person – and list everything you love about them. 

Now, you have three different lists: love of self, love of life, love of an individual. Put the elements of this list into categories that coincide with the 8 categories in the wheel of wellbeing: personal relationship, love relationships, personal growth, leisure and play, environment, life purpose, physical health, and financial health.  Feel free to add or change the title of a category as it suits you. 

 

Just one thing more.

 

Finally, based on what already brings you love and satisfaction in each category, ask yourself this question. What is one thing I can do that will bring even more love to this area of my life? Just one thing.

Now, here is a crucial part. This “one thing,” the one action you can create to bring even more love, must come from the heart or gut-brain and not the brain in our head. Our thinking mind will look first to what it doesn’t want and where you “aren’t good enough,” and second, to provide an answer for “improvement.” Are you with me? For this exercise to be authentic, you will want to allow the answer to unfold; to arrive in your mind while being immersed in the sense of loving and being loved. You will know the best action when the contemplation of it brings you joy.

 

So, let’s review.

 

What is one thing you can do to enhance what you already love about the 8 categories in the wheel of wellbeing: personal relationship, love relationship, personal growth, leisure and play, environment, life purpose, physical health, and financial health.

So much of who we are at this moment is a collection of habits and beliefs gathered throughout the years and decades of our life. Real growth doesn’t have to be difficult, and living your best life can be achieved by shifting your focus, and actively moving forward toward fulfillment.

Are you willing to take a journey to discover yourself anew? I look forward to hearing about your experience.

When “The Jerry Seinfeld Show” Meets “Gratitude”

When “The Jerry Seinfeld Show” Meets “Gratitude”

What a compelling title!(?) Aren’t you wondering where this might be going? Remember the Seinfeld show? It was a “show about nothing.” In reality, however, it was a show about common things in our everyday lives that we tend to take for granted. For example, they were able to build entire shows around topics like breakfast cereal, flat hair, clothes warmed from a dryer, etc.

And somewhat like Seinfeld, the task at hand is to take the simple, commonly-used word “gratitude” and share something thought-provoking (hopefully) about that little word which I admit to using quite casually. Seemed easy at the time I accepted the invitation to write this.

Help!

As I often do when faced with a challenge, I reached out to some family members and friends to gain a broader perspective. That is, I asked them what the word “gratitude” means to them and how a feeling of gratitude impacts their lives. Reflecting on their thoughts individually and collectively was enlightening. Most mentioned gratitude to family and friends during times of crisis when they had faced seemingly insurmountable circumstances usually not of their making.  Also, support at special events was cited along with opportunities presented in everyday life. Often gratitude to God was specifically stated. And some expressed particular gratitude for support from unexpected sources.

It all made me wonder if it’s possible to simply feel gratitude without feeling “gratitude to __ for __.” I concluded it isn’t; there is always someone to whom I am grateful. However, I would be interested in your thoughts.

There were heartfelt comments about gratitude for the influence others have on our lives. I’m reminded of a favorite quote, which is framed and hanging in the guest room of some great friends:

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints and we are never ever the same. (Author Unknown)

Reflecting on that quote, creating a listing of the latter is fairly easy in spite of the fact that it’s a longer list than I might have expected when I started. Who’s on your list?

[Note: of all the people I asked, only one mentioned gratitude for “stuff” including free Wi-Fi. She’s ten years old and quickly added, “just kidding.”  I was impressed with her discernment!]

And while there are certainly degrees of intensity in feeling gratitude, e.g. “I am grateful for the delicious apple” vs. “I am grateful that you saved my child’s life,” having an attitude of thankfulness (or gratitude) is unchanging. It is a choice. As one friend said, it is “a way of life” we all can choose regardless of our circumstances.

So, where do we go from here?

How we respond to those feelings of gratitude clearly makes a difference to ourselves and to others. It is both uplifting and somewhat humbling to go beyond feeling grateful to actually expressing gratitude to others for their actions or simply for life itself. It’s uplifting because it’s the right thing to do since it encourages others. It is humbling because it’s an acknowledgement that we can’t do everything by ourselves.

But what do we do when it’s too late? As was pondered by a family member, “What happens when the person to whom I feel most grateful is gone and I didn’t adequately let them know how much I appreciated having him/her in my life?” Perhaps God is willing to intercede on our behalf, if asked. Perhaps we can learn something from the pain of regret. Perhaps we can be a little better at being forthright enough to express our gratitude going forward.

At the moment, I am feeling intense gratitude for the gift of time granted to me. And just like you, I hope to be given twenty-four hours this day…and maybe tomorrow, too. How will I respond to that gift? How will I choose to use it?

Two parting thoughts

Since Annamarie and I talked about my blogging on this subject, I have thought about it often but have done nothing about it until the last week or so. But now that I have started writing, I can see the personal benefit of thinking deeply about “gratitude” and what it means in my life. It has been a revealing experience to try to articulate those thoughts.

Maybe I will choose some other key words and do the same for my own personal growth. Words like compassion? Respect? Service? Humor? The list is endless. Maybe you will do the same. For more inspiration to do so, you might read John Maxwell’s book Thinking for a Change.” It’s a good one!

As I sit here awaiting the morning light, I have a feeling of gratitude for this simple moment… gratitude for the freedom to essentially live as I choose. And, perhaps most importantly, I realize the feeling of gratitude is a choice I can make each moment of the day, regardless of what comes my way.

Wishing you peace this day.