fbpx
5 Ways to Decrease the Stigma of Mental Health

5 Ways to Decrease the Stigma of Mental Health

Introduction by Annamarie Fernyak

In the following blog post, Erin talks about the stigma of mental health and common biases toward people who may be suffering from mental illness. Before Erin’s thoughtful essay, I never considered that I might have biases. After reflecting on Erin’s words, I came to realize that some biases were just below the surface.  

So, what can we do once you know those subconscious inclinations exist? What do I do? 

Be mindful, of course! We each have the beautiful ability to tune the dial of awareness onto our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.  By paying careful attention, we gain information and uncover unwanted habits and beliefs. The pause taken to tune into awareness provides the opportunity for you to weigh what is happening at any moment against your values; then an action may be chosen.  It allows purposeful actions instead of reactions.  

Take time to self-reflect. Listen to your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Discover if you have habitual ways of thinking or hidden prejudices, and invite yourself to think, act, and exist in a way that positively serves yourself and the world.  

Sending a virtual hug!!!

 

Mindfully,

 

Annamarie


 

“I heard you were sick the other day.  How are you feeling?”  
“You had surgery recently, right?  How are you recovering?”
“Oh no, you have the flu??  Stay home and take care of yourself!”

 

All of the above statements are commonly heard among friends and co-workers on a daily basis.  We are often able to discuss health issues and illnesses, checking on one another, and making sure physical health issues are addressed.  Imagine if the following was overheard:

I heard you had a manic episode last week.  How are you feeling?”
“You had a psychiatric hospitalization recently, right?  How are you doing?”
“Oh no, you had a panic attack?  Please stay home and take care of yourself!”

 

 

If any of the above statements make you uncomfortable, you are not alone. 

Except for those who work in the mental health field, the statements above do not roll off the tongue.  We are completely comfortable talking about the health ailments of ourselves and our friends, family, and co-workers; however, the stigma around mental health often leaves us speechless and silent, rendering those with mental health symptoms isolated and ostracized.

 

So why does this occur? 

There are a variety of reasons and theories.  In the Middle Ages, those with mental health symptoms were thought to be punished by God or possessed by the devil, so they were often imprisoned, burned, or killed.   Perhaps the discomfort around mental health stems from the colonial and industrial periods; at this time, women were commonly viewed as property of the fathers and husbands in their lives, and these men could have them “committed” to a sanitarium at any time, with very little evidence.  In the days of Nazi Germany, horrible experiments were conducted on those deemed mentally ill because some believed the mentally ill were a disposable population.

In the 1960s and 1970s, deinstitutionalization resulted in the influx of those diagnosed as severely mentally ill as these individuals re-entered local communities to receive treatment.  However, this also led to homelessness, and it doubled the number of people identified as mentally ill in the criminal justice system in the following years.  Additionally, the media sensationalize acts of violence and attribute them to mental illness, even if there is no evidence of a connection.

In this historical context, all episodes of mental illness get lumped together.  Whether the person is experiencing symptoms of schizophrenia, depression, or anxiety, the individual is often viewed from the same lens, both internally (view of self) and externally (how others view the person).  If one grows up hearing about “crazy” people, who commit acts of violence or who live on the street, and then experiences mental health symptoms, it can be alarming and unsettling.  Often, people will not admit to themselves or others what symptoms they experience for fear of being hospitalized, losing their job, or not being able to see or care for their children.  

 

What can the average person do then, to reduce this stigma for oneself and significant others? 

Mental health issues are isolating, and lack of connection with others exacerbates these issues. Human connection is the balm that heals. Sometimes, just having someone who is willing to sit with you, even in silence, is the most healing thing of all. Be that connection for someone. There are several things we can do :

 

1. Educate yourself

The more you know, the less scary and strange something will be.  And then, you can help educate others with facts.

 

2. Recognize what biases you have

Examine from where these biases stem, whether from how you were brought up or societal influences.

 

3. Talk about your own mental health struggles

Each of us has ups and downs in our moods and emotions; that is very normal.  Each of us also has times in our lives when we struggle with difficult situations and circumstances.  Talking about these struggles openly makes room and space for others to do so as well.

 

4. Be aware of language

Instead of saying words like “crazy” or “nuts” or “cuckoo”, or even saying things like “he’s bipolar” or “she’s depressed”, say things like “he has symptoms of bipolar disorder” or “those who have schizophrenic symptoms”.  This begins to identify the person as separate and distinct from the condition.

 

5. Support people who are struggling. 

Reach out to someone you know is having difficulty with anxiety, depression, or even a psychotic episode. Let them know you are there.  

 

 

 

 

*May is Mental Health Month and in support of our community, Mind Body Align is offering several FREE resources! Check it out here! 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perfectionism, Rewired.

Perfectionism, Rewired.

In my quest to write a perfect blog, while procrastinating with a slight fear of failing before I even get started, I will review with you a couple of ways to look at perfectionism. And perhaps through exploring those with you, I can help you and me identify some things we can both do to address that BIGG or little piece in each of us that may tend to be a perfectionist.  

The first definition of PERFECTIONIST I looked up is a person who refuses any standard short of perfection. Other definitions linked it to a personality trait or type that strives for flawlessness and setting up high standards, accompanied by being overly critical of themselves and others. There is a connection between perfectionism and a fear of failure, and a need to be accepted.    

I believe one can have high standards without some of the other things that go along with being a perfectionist. Once you have the emotional intelligence to recognize that you have some of the traits or qualities of being a perfectionist, you can work on addressing them for your own good, and the good of people around you, if you choose.  

Many of you know that as a trainer and coach, I am a huge advocate of Gallup’s strengths-based leadership research.  I love the idea that we need to focus on what’s right with people, rather than what is going wrong. This helps me manage perfection.  In looking over Gallup’s 34 top leadership strengths’ “basements,” I found one that has “perfectionism,” and that is the strength called MAXIMIZER. Things like “never good enough” and “always reworking” and “picky” are part of the basement that can happen when you overuse it.  It’s a strength I have that can make me a good coach. One that focuses on mastery, success, excellence, and working with the best. One that couples with my value that everyone can do their best, and everyone’s best can be different and EVERY kind and brand of excellence can be valued and rewarded. I believe people are perfect, not imperfect, just as they are.    

As a coach, how I manage to keep from falling in the basement of “perfectionism” is that I believe in people and think they know how to solve their issues and move forward in their lives. Sometimes it just takes someone believing in them to help them do it. It’s not my job to tell them what they need to do, nor fix them. I honor and applaud their excellence.  

Brene Brown, a well-known research professor, social worker, and five-time #1 New York Times best selling author, would suggest that PERFECTIONISM is a function of shame. Her definition is that perfectionism is a self-destructive belief system that fuels this primary thought – that if I look perfect or do everything perfectly, I avoid or minimize the painful feeling of blame, judgment, and shame.  

It’s destructive because PERFECTION is an unattainable goal.  

It’s getting sucked into proving I could do something versus PAUSING and stepping back and asking if I should do this, or if I want to do this. 

 

I LOVE PAUSING.  

Since my mother’s passing, I have worked a lot on emotional courage – to lean into and feel and identify the emotions I am experiencing, not judge them, but to sit with them and understand them, and explore if other choices could better serve me at some point. What’s the emotion that is behind this feeling of perfection? Am I feeling blame, judgment, or shame? What can I choose to do with it? How can I have a conversation with those I work with or someone who has dropped the ball without blaming, but just to talk about what happened so we can fix it and move on?

 

MOVE ON. LET IT GO.

How can we wade into our discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about our own stories, those real stories, those that we are not making up?  Some of the other things that we can do that Brene and I and others may recommend addressing those areas of perfection that don’t serve us include:  

*Say NO, not with an excuse, not with an explanation, just say NO. Set boundaries.

*Talk to ourselves like we would with someone we love. You are human. I am human. We all make mistakes. 

As a leader, I would recommend that you HAVE to make mistakes and be vulnerable in front of other people, especially those you supervise so that they know that they can make mistakes too.  

 

REACH OUT

  • Connect with someone who can respond with empathy and talk to them. Brene Brown suggests that shame cannot survive being spoken. Speak.  
  • Ask for help. Ask for your supervisor to help you prioritize. Quit picking up more work to do because no one else is. Hold people accountable. Give clear and honest feedback to them promptly.   
  • Catch people doing things right- celebrate victories and little or big WINS. Focus on gratitude. THANK people more.  
  • Ask for FEEDBACK from others…and don’t get defensive when you get it. Listen to it. Act on it.  

And my favorite:

  • Be a BADASS and don’t care what people think. Start “settling” a little bit more. Clarifying expectations is important, but you may need to lower expectations and standards …just because you can…and your expectations are not always reasonable or worth it.  

According to Brene Brown, Perfection is the furthest thing from badassery.    

How Mindfulness Can Help You Explore Your Perfectionism.

How Mindfulness Can Help You Explore Your Perfectionism.

Hello MBA Community, 

This year at Mind Body Align we are embarking on an exploration into mindfulness and wholehearted living. We began the year by offering some tools for you to use in order to assess where you are at this moment. (see Annamarie’s wheel of wellbeing)  Our intention is that each month we shed light on each area of whole living through our blog posts, podcasts, playlists, and even the resources that we curate for you in our retail shop.  We kicked off the March topic with Coffee Talk guest host, Cindy Biggs. As an accomplished leadership and executive coach, we knew that she would be the ideal person to talk with us about this month’s topic, perfectionism.  Be sure to keep an eye out for Cindy’s blog post called Perfectionism Rewired. It will be in your inbox next week. 

So why are we talking about perfectionism if our year is focused on whole living? Why not just dive into one of the areas on the wheel of wellbeing? Sometimes we need to start with the obstacles. If we begin with them we can open up a dialog to find strategies and solutions. Perfectionism seems to keep coming up when we talk about issues facing our Mind Body Align community. The response to the LunchWISE Wednesday event last month, when we tackled the topic of Imposter Syndrome, truly struck a chord. I have never received so many emails after an event. The idea of being perfect can be a huge stumbling block when it comes to living a life that is fully engaged. For many, trying to be perfect is a way to avoid the fear of failure and, just to be clear, we are talking about perfectionism as opposed to setting standards or striving for excellence. 

Back in October 2018 our guest blogger, Kym Lamb wrote, “I’ve found that Bravery Over Perfection comes when you are willing to inspect your strengths and weaknesses. It’s the willingness to question what you believe and why consistently…Bravery emerges when we embrace failure as taking that one daring step past fear and it’s when we recognize that excellence comes not in being flawless, but fearless.”  

I love this! “Taking that ONE DARING STEP past the fear. 

 

So how do we use and apply the practice of mindfulness when it comes to silencing our inner critic? 

Begin with awareness.

Notice and pay attention to the words and tones that you use with yourself. The voice in our head can work to keep us safe but there are times when we need to simply recognize it and release it especially when it is telling us things that are negative or untrue. Would you speak to a friend the way that you speak to yourself?

 

Notice what is happening.

When we recognize that the voice in our head (our inner critic) is at work or we realize that we have set a standard that is beyond realistic, Mind Body Align founder, Annamarie Fernyak, says you should ask yourself the question, what’s happening now?  What do I see, hear, taste, touch, and smell? What thoughts, physical sensations, and emotions are present?  What do I “sense” or intuit is happening in the world around me?  

 

Move into the present moment.

Once we have done a check-in with our heart, mind, and physical sensations we can begin to release judgments and embrace curiosity. Our thoughts pass by us like clouds in the sky. We observe them rolling past without becoming attached or engaging them.

 

Develop a practice. 

Meditation is a great tool for learning to live mindfully. Like most things worth pursuing, it takes practice and training. Mediation can be done in the amount of time it takes to brush your teeth but it does require regularity. It’s a workout for your brain and the benefits of setting aside the time are so worth it. You would never expect to go running once and then sign up for a marathon expecting to complete it. Mindfulness meditation works in the same way. You’ve got to train the brain.

 

Find Support.

Surround yourself with people and things that support your commitment to living fully. It is essential to your success. Be aware of who you are spending time with, what you are reading, watching or listening to, and curate those things with intention. 

As we move through the month of March and adjust our clocks internally and externally for Spring, our team at Mind Body Align invites you to join us with curiosity, self-compassion, and mindfulness as we explore perfectionism.  We look forward to connecting with you at one of our classes, events or conversations on social media. 

 

Sending you joy!

Jen

P.S. Be sure to keep an eye on your inbox for fresh new content to keep you inspired.

3 Quick Tips to Start Practicing Self-Love Now!

3 Quick Tips to Start Practicing Self-Love Now!

Self-love is about being more committed to your happiness than to your suffering in every single moment.”- Nitika Chopra

 

 

We all know that love is the main topic of discussion in February. Everywhere we turn we see hearts, candy, and cards reminding us to honor our loved ones with a token of appreciation, which is a lovely sentiment.  While you’re contemplating the perfect way to tell someone else how much you care,  don’t forget to tune into your own heart. Here are a few ways you can carve out moments of love for yourself:

Wake with a grateful heart.

 

Before your feet even touch the floor, take a moment to acknowledge what you are grateful for such as your health, your bed, etc.

Start your morning with an affirmation.

 

When sipping your coffee or washing your face try saying to yourself something like, “I am loved,” or ” Today I am capable of so much.”

Nourish your mind + body.

 

At lunchtime, fill up your water bottle and put on your favorite calming playlist or podcast. Take this moment to recharge and center yourself.

 

Looking for more opportunities to practice self-love?

 

Check out our podcast, Second Sip, which is a continuation of our wise-women conversations at MBA.

You may also enjoy our Girls Night In events.      

 

 

Gifting for the Love Languages

Gifting for the Love Languages

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, we all have a “love tank” inside of us. When the love tank is full, we feel connected, supported, and secure. When the love tank is empty, we feel disconnected, alone, and insecure. But how do you fill someone else’s love tank? You learn what their love language is and you use it to communicate how much they mean to you. It’s equally important that you understand your own love language. This way, you will know how to communicate to your loved ones what it is that you need to feel appreciated and secure.  

But what if their language is different from yours? Or perhaps you don’t exactly know what to do with the information? These concerns can create unnecessary stress when it comes time to acknowledge them with a gift or expression of love. No one needs MORE stress in their life. That’s why we’ve used the 5 Love Languages to curate a gift guide that is intentional and reflects each of the languages uniquely. 

 

Words of Affirmation

 

People with this as their top love language need words to help them feel loved. Choose gifts that make statements and show that you recognize an important aspect of them. 

Gift Ideas: 

ThoughtFull Pop-Open Cards- Each of these themed boxes come with 30 unique quotes. Stash them throughout their belongings to create a fun and unexpected surprise. Popping open the card is super satisfying and their small size makes them perfect to carry in your pocket or bag. 

Write Now Journals- These journals have beautiful and inspirational quotes on the cover and throughout the pages. A lover of words will surely appreciate the ability to keep their own words close by while being inspired by iconic quotes and poems. 

 

Physical Touch

 

The Touch love language is about the physical sensation that comes from a meaningful connection. Pick textural gifts that evoke a strong touch memory of you. 

Gift Ideas: 

Shawls/ Wraps/Blankets/Pillows- The key here is to find items that have a distinct texture and relate to something they already love. If they love to read in their favorite chair, perhaps a cozy shawl or wrap would be nice. If they love to Netflix and relax – a breathable blanket with some weight can help them unwind, if they’ve recently experienced a significant transition in their life, a weighted heart pillow can provide comfort in times of need. 

Sacred Heart Stones – These little trinkets are perfect for a pocket and can easily be retrieved and rubbed with their thumb when they miss you or need to feel comforted. 

 

Quality Time

 

QT people need you to make time for them. Gift them items that come with a follow-up event or date. 

Gift Ideas:

Yoga/meditation supplies + classes: a new yoga mat or bag, perhaps an eye pillow. Commit to attending a class with them by purchasing a class pass in advance. 

Books + discussion- Books are great for self-care but you can show your loved ones that you care by reading the same book and making time for discussion. Think about books that reflect their interests or will strengthen your relationship: The Mindful Couple, Awakened Relating, or The Untethered Soul. 

 

Acts of Service

 

Acts of Service speakers feel loved when you do something nice for them that makes their life easier or better. Think about gifts that will enhance their goals or free up their schedule so that they can pursue the things they really enjoy. 

Gift ideas: 

Wellness Kits:  Has your loved one been sick? Are they hoping to get healthy in the new year? Gift them a hand-curated wellness kit, complete with bath bombs, handmade soaps, reusable water bottles, wellness patches, etc. 

Prompted Journaling- Journaling is incredibly rewarding but busy people may find it to be a chore. Help them reap the benefits of journaling by gifting them a prompted journal such as Calm the Chaos,   I am here now, or 52 Weeks of Gratitude.

 

Receiving Gifts

 

This language may seem like the easiest one but in fact, can be the most stressful. Gifters are usually excellent at gifting meaningful items to their loved ones so you may feel pressure to make the same kind of effort. The key here is to take note of what brings them joy. Big or small, a meaningful gift will go a long way with this love language. 

Gift Ideas:

Unique Finds: trendsetters love a unique find. Think jewelry with a story such as a Mala prayer necklace or a stone bracelet charged in a Sedona energy vortex. 

Conscious Living- Think about items that do good in the world: reusable paper towels, glass water bottles, or fair-trade items such as bags and rugs. 

Holistic and Mindful Living: gift items that will help them with their practice such as a singing bowl, meditation chime, or a crystal grid.

 

 

Take the FREE Love Language Quiz here

All of the above-mentioned gift ideas can be found at the Butterfly House retail shop. Visit us on Tu-Friday from 10 am – 5 pm or email mary@mindbodyalign.com to have a custom gift package put together for you. 

 

Upcoming Event

Girls Night In: 

The Power of Self-Compassion

February 28th