Infinite possibilities and real life abundance

Infinite possibilities and real life abundance

Recently, my husband and I discovered what it’s like to have an empty nest. My youngest is away at college, and my oldest is “adulting”.  Our parents health has stabilized and life is good. It’s just me and the ‘ole Goat. (Said with love and affection, FYI – my hubs name is Todd.) We’ve recently celebrated our birthdays: Donna v5.2, and Todd v5.6.  We enjoy being alone together more. It’s almost as if we’ve rediscovered each other. We text more often, plan supper for two, watch Jeopardy and an episode of Game of Thrones every night – because we love it.

I looked at him the other day and said, “Dude, where have we been the last 24 years?” It was so nice to just be in the moment, together. We had nowhere to be, no crisis, no drama, and the house was STAYING clean! Suddenly, the realization of infinite possibilities came upon us.  Wintering in Tucson, traveling, and being more artsy came to mind.

Soon after, I found myself freely volunteering my time, working more, and playing more. It felt glorious to jump in my car and go anywhere I wanted, anytime I wanted, and not be responsible for anyone but me.  As Annamarie wrote in her blog post, her dream was a real possibility.  All I had to do was show up for mine.

Becoming reacquainted with change and chaos

A month later, my oldest called to tell me great news – she was transferring back to Mansfield with her company.

“That’s Great news, Honey!”, I said.

“But wait, there’s more!” She said.

I’m moving back home! “Sure, no problem!, I said.”

…and, my fiance is coming too! “Oh? Ok, that’s cool…”

…and our dog!  “I’M ALLERGIC TO DOGS!”

…AND, you’re going to be a grandma!

And here is where I imagine a cloudy speech bubble above my head go :::: KA-BOOM! :::

The above may seem like no big deal to some, or that I’m whining or complaining – but really, I’m not.  I was just startled my dream of infinite possibilities shifted in thirty seconds.  I fully understand now how my own mother feels about her dreams of retirement and travel because her dream has shifted too.

Come to see how perfect your life is today, even if it doesn’t look or feel that way

So, now I’m posting nursery and mobility stuff on my Pinterest board.  The mini-van has been well maintained for transporting parents and grand babies to doctor appointments.  Carpet and flooring have been replaced for wheelchair access.  I am grateful for flexibility and that I can care for aging parents, and new grandchildren.

Stepping back, I am so grateful for my life, health, and family.  I now understand my gifts are to build on my strengths, which include loving and caring for people. And, now that I’ve spent time with my thoughts, perhaps my “me” time was in my twenties? My life’s time-line is flip-flopped… maybe? I didn’t have my first child until I was twenty-nine. I am grateful I survived my twenties.

Thank you for listening while I pondered this.  Sometimes, writing your thoughts down evokes a new perspective.  My life is happy.  I want for nothing.  I need nothing. I am able to love. I am able to serve with joyful abundance. The time is now, and the possibilities are still endless.

Eliminate Tolerations: increase your positive energy

Eliminate Tolerations: increase your positive energy

tolerationTolerations are things we put up with.  We tolerate other people, situations, environments, bad habits, our health, restrictions, indulgence, stress, the list goes on and on.  These things drag you down and clutter your mind.  They take up energy and devour your personal bandwidth.  Tolerations suck!

Labeling something as a “toleration” helps us identify it, and separate it from ourselves.  Kind of like baggage we carry… instead of carrying it, we’re able to mentally put it on a shelf and look at it objectively.    My car is dirty because I don’t make time for the car wash.  My desk is messy because I throw mail and paperwork on it.  The neighbors dog poos in my yard because I haven’t brought it to their attention yet.

Tolerations take a toll

We often overlook or disregard the cost of tolerations.   Emotional tolls can be feeling agitated, annoyed, hurt, and result in loss of energy. Feelings like these easily distract us from being open to opportunities we desire.   “I was so annoyed with the dog poo between my toes, I didn’t hear the phone ring.”

Addressing a toleration will renew your energy because you fall back into alignment with yourself.

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Tolerations Exercise:

Grab a piece of paper and list all of the things you’re putting up with. Carry the list around with you. Visit all the different environments in your world: office, home, car, relationships, personal, financial… notice what you are putting up with in each area. Write down everything you notice.

Take action!

  1. Do it! Take immediate action.
  2. Delegate it! Give it to someone else to do.
  3. Defer it! Put it on the back burner until you have time or resources to deal with it.
  4. Dump it!  Be done with it – it doesn’t matter anymore.

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Do you feel positive energy flowing already? I do this exercise annually when planning for the new year. Eliminating junk on a regular basis feels empowering, and ensures I always have maximum capacity to deal with life.

“Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out – it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.” – Robert Service

 

Fifty–You are welcome

Fifty–You are welcome

Filled with amazement and wonder, I’m turning fifty years old this month.  Alas, I’m a quinqueagenerian (kwin-kwuh-juh-nair-ee-uhn)  When I was young, it seemed people who were fifty complained about their aches and pains all day. I’m thinking primarily of my grandmother who lived “up in the ‘hollar” in Pike County, Kentucky.

I wonder: Did she discover a purpose for herself after raising eight children? Did she continue to feed her soul and mind as she grew older?  In what ways did she contribute to younger generations?  I don’t know.  But I can tell you this; you won’t hear me bellyachin’ about anything.

Staring Fifty in the Face

Today, as I approach my own middle-age, I found an enlightening passage in Marianne Williamson’s book, “The Age of Miracles: Embracing The New Midlife that opened my soul.

“Midlife today is a second puberty of sorts. The experience, including its length, is being redefined. It is a period distinctly unlike youth, yet distinctly unlike old age. It doesn’t feel like a cruise to the end of our lives so much as a cruise, at last, to the meaning of our lives.

Now, the thought of a second puberty is rather dreadful, but as I reflect, I realize that all the experiences of my life have given me a unique gift. A unique meaning and purpose that doesn’t come so easily to many.  The ability to connect with every human being, everywhere.  Without judgement or contention. With only joy, love, and extreme acceptance.

With this beautiful, liberating birthday, I’ve discovered my specific purpose and key to true happiness is being in community and collaboration with others.  This enables me create, nurture, love and grow things/people/experiences.

At fifty, the things I don’t need are:

  • Minivan for taxiing the team all over the state.
  • High heels – because I just don’t feel like it.
  • Super-sized anything.

What I do need.

Belonging, well-being, community, growth, integrity, acceptance, brilliance, love, joy, and boots.  I really like Boot Life and their cool western boots.

When I was young, an 80’s girl, all I wanted were material things, cars, jewelry, clothes, and parties. Today, my life is fuller, deeper, and fully engaged with a community of friends who seek the same ideals I do.   Glad I survived it all.  Fifty was worth the wait!  And, I’m glad you’re here to read this too.

Now it’s your turn!

If I waved a magic wand, what does your future look like? And, how are you going to make that happen?

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